Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Mess with Texas- get needled

This from POTUS (and the Washington Post):
I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town, and I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it. So the idea that somehow I was trying to needle the Democrats, it's just -- gosh, it's probably Texas. Who knows what it is? But I'm not that good at pronouncing words anyway.
Life in thesis land is what I thought it was. A whole lot of writing that eventually loses its luster, because it becomes a series of hoops to jump through. I'm proud of the ideas in my thesis, but am growing weary of sucking the life out of them through academic writing. I'll be happy to get this done, because my classes this semester look pretty good.

K and I booked a Spring Break trip to Seattle and Vancouver, fulfilling a goal we had when we moved out here (to do some West Coast travel while it was easier to do). Stay tuned, as the "Arranging your lamp..." household may also visit England this spring/summer. I have not been to England, despite holding a degree in English literature and closing in on a theology degree from an Episcopal school.

I think that the SEIU (which has 3 Bay Area locals- everything is unionized in CA) is having a little too much fun deciding who to endorse for the nomination. Each candidate has to spend a day working with an SEIU member after spending a day interviewing with union leaders. The term "self-important" comes to mind. Mark Cuban worked in a Dairy Queen for a day, which was funny. Any of the presidential candidates donning a jumpsuit with their name on it and spending a day cleaning a building, or wearing scrubs and working as a Nurse Assistant, well that's just hilarious.

Julian Wright is an excellent basketball player on a team that I like a lot, but this is funny:

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hyphy is a style of hip-hop that has emerged from the Bay Area and is gaining national attention. This is not hyphy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Almost done.


Post #100 comes on the day that my childhood idol is voted into Cooperstown. My comments on the misery that is thesis writing, the rabid illegitimacy that is the BCS Championship process, Mitt Romney's $6.5M phon-a-thon, the iPhone, or Carolina's rise to #1 in both polls will have to wait for another day. Cal Ripken, the guy I tried to play like, the guy I watched nearly every night growing up, the guy whose home run in game 2,131 is the only sporting event that ever made me cry, got elected to the Hall of Fame today. Thomas Boswell wrote a column about him. You can read it here, or maybe I'll just paste the whole thing into my blog (you need a login for the Post, and though they're free, some of you are lazy), and promise that this is my last post on this subject until the induction this summer. Thanks, Cal.

Again Batting Cleanup

By Thomas Boswell
Wednesday, January 10, 2007; E01

Perhaps Cal Ripken epitomizes essential human values, like fidelity to a code of duty and honor. Or maybe he's just a decent guy who showed up for work every day, signed a lot of autographs and didn't cheat -- a very low hurdle for sainthood. Either way, Ripken always has been exactly what baseball needed, especially in its darkest times.

From his first day in the big leagues in 1981 until he was voted into the Hall of Fame yesterday with the third-highest percentage ever, Ripken always has been baseball's perfect answer -- even before the sport knew the ugly question. Yes, he's at it again. In an age when jocks show up at midnight in a white Hummer limo, Ripken will ride into Cooperstown in July on a white horse at high noon.

As Barry Bonds stalks Hank Aaron all summer, like Rambo on Bambi's trail, Ripken is positioned to steal the stage: the accidental antidote, the hero by happenstance. In '95, after the sewage spill of a canceled World Series, baseball needed a stench-free symbol of dependability, a hometown boy who understood responsibility and an adult who grasped that players simply were custodians of a game owned by its fans.

The sport got all those things, as the Orioles shortstop broke Lou Gehrig's record for consecutive games played. Now history is seeking him out again. The steroid-soaked stage is set. Baseball's need for a man with a simple sense of honor is profoundly obvious. Cue Cal. Now we realize that all those years when it never crossed Cal's mind to skip even a single game, something else never crossed his mind either -- cheating. Now, his 431 home runs look larger as the totals of others seem smaller. And we know why Cal never hit a ball 475 feet in his life. "I don't think my numbers are deflated because some other numbers may be inflated," Ripken told me last week.

Just as Mark McGwire brought more unwelcome headlines to the sport yesterday -- by receiving a dismal 23.5 percent of the Hall vote -- Ripken's election immediately helped the cleanup process. There to aid him was Tony Gwynn, the eight-time batting champ who led the league in smiles for 20 straight years.

How does baseball catch these undeserved breaks? For much of the last 20 years, baseball's bosses, owners and union have tacitly condoned and virtually encouraged an epidemic of illegal and dangerous performance-enhancing drugs. And the two superstars of the last quarter century who are least likely to have cheated -- who, if anything, were nagged for not having quite enough "power" -- arrive right on schedule. On an occasion when he was universally contrasted with Too Big Mac and Balco Barry, Ripken tried to make one point perfectly clear -- in his mind, at least, virtue had nothing to do with it. "To me there was no fork in the road. There was no choice. Those things scare me to death," Ripken said last week when asked about playing clean.

Lest he get too much credit for mere honesty, he adds: "I never had the options. The Orioles were thought of as a bunch of goody-two-shoes. After those guys in Kansas City had [cocaine] problems, our team voluntarily agreed to have drug testing. Eddie [Murray] said, 'Just go along with it.'

"When I came into the big leagues [in 1982, his first full season], the locker room had ashtrays, spittoons and candy bars," adds Ripken, chuckling at a lifestyle little changed since the days of the Babe. "Then the blenders for the protein mixes replaced them. Maybe I had the old-school naive view. People think I had this nutritional regimen. Yeah, my regimen was the four food groups."

Ripken may know plenty about the use of performance enhancers in baseball. What veteran star player wouldn't? "The truth has started to come out. But only parts have come out to this point. The overall thing just saddens me. But it's reality. It is what it is," Ripken said. "I don't resent being asked about it. It's all part of the process of cleaning up. The truth will be known. Unfortunately, all the stories probably haven't come out yet. I'm for the stories being told."

But don't expect to hear them from him. "I don't think it's my place to judge," he said.

However, the day of his election to Cooperstown was the proper time for Ripken to put the primary moments of his career in perspective. Making the Hall ranked only third.

"Catching the liner for the last out of the '83 World Series was my best moment as a player because you have the joy of completion. But taking that spontaneous lap in '95 was my best human moment," Ripken said.

Playing in his 2,131st consecutive game on Sept. 6 that season, Ripken circled the Camden Yards warning track, shaking the hands of countless fans, many of whom already had his autograph under glass back home. Or did they all? If they did, they probably received that souvenir near midnight in a darkened ballpark with just enough light left to allow the line snaking beside the Oriole dugout to find its way to Cal's indefatigable pen.

"I didn't want to delay the game," Ripken said. "But Bobby [Bonilla] and Raffy [Palmeiro] pushed me out of the dugout. They said, 'If you don't take a lap, we'll never get this game started again.' At the end of the lap I could care less if they started the game or not."

"We need each other in this life," said Ripken, referring to the bond between players and fans, which baseball constantly seems to stretch to the breaking point. "Taking the lap helped to pull the experience together. I was the beneficiary."

Ripken always feels like he's the beneficiary. And he usually is. To a point, his good luck -- his knack of being in the right place at the right time to fall into a bed of roses -- even embarrasses him. But other people, and baseball, always seem to be getting even more in these sappy Ripken love-fests. Is the simple life the win-win life?

These days, Ripken builds baseball at the grass-roots level by teaching the game to kids and owning minor league teams. It's work he loves and it suits him. "When you're a player, the good seasons go by fast. The bad ones seem to take forever," Ripken said. "The last five years have seemed like the fastest of my life."

To summarize what he does these days and how people should imagine his various projects, Ripken puts his fingers a fraction of an inch apart. "This many can be major leaguers," he said. Then he spreads his arms as wide as he can and grins. "This many can love the game."


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Asshat.

From an article in the Bal'mer Sun:
Of the 178 members of the BBWAA who answered the question about Ripken's induction, only one, Paul Ladewski, a columnist for the Daily Southtown in suburban Chicago, said he didn't vote for Ripken.

"In an attempt to uphold the Hall of Fame standards established by their predecessors, I will not vote for anyone who played in the 1993-2004 period, which I consider to be the Steroids Era," Ladewski wrote in an e-mail to The Sun last month. "That includes Tony Gwynn, Mark McGwire and Cal Ripken Jr."
Nevermind that Rip's power numbers declined during the era in question, that Tony Gwynn never had power numbers, or that someone willing to write off 11 years of baseball ought not to be employed as a baseball writer, much mess given a vote for the Hall of Fame. Paul Ladewski seems like the kind of guy who voted for Nader, twice, just to ruin everybody's fun. He also seems like the kind of guy who has no columns posted in his online archive. I think we all know where he needs to get punched. Let's just say that McGwire's probably doesn't work like it used to.


Monday, January 01, 2007




















A better coach, and a better guy. There was never a controversy about Dean Smith's character. He didn't get fired, because he never choked anyone. He got to 879 with 99 fewer losses, at 2 fewer schools and in one more privately funded arena which he reluctantly allowed UNC to name after him. Win all you want, Knight. You'll never measure up.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Thursday, December 28, 2006

A Pre-emptive strike

880 wins, 3 national titles, and not fit to shine Dean's shoes. Congratulations, Knight. I salute you.



Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Whirlwind holiday

Here's the brief rundown of the "Arranging your lamp" family trip to NC for Christmas. This post is sponsored by Xanax, palindromic alleviator of Pteromerhanophobia.

K and I took the redeye to Dulles on Friday, connecting to RDU at about lunchtime. Many people at SFO were trying to reach Denver and were being told that they probably wouldn't get there. Funny how it sometimes takes a holiday blizzard a time zone away to remind us how interdependent we are these days. Anyway, it was a sad scene, and I hope they found a way home.

Our first Triangle stop was K's father's house, for a celebration with that side of the family. From there, we headed to K's mom's farm, for another great family visit. Christmas Eve at the Advocate was beautiful; a reminder that I really do like church. It was great to see a bunch of people we've missed, at least those who were not in MS. Church was followed by the traditional dinner at a Japanese steak house- always good times. While there, I ordered bourbons for K and myself. After about 10 minutes, we noticed a fly in my bourbon, and five (5!) in K's. Back at the bar, the bartender asked what bourbon I had ordered. Knob Creek. His reply: "Knob Creek? No wonder." My reply: "Why do you keep a bottle at your bar if you know it's slap full of insects?" He had no answer, but I was happy to return to the table carrying a couple of drams of the bourbon for which I am an ambassador.

After a fine Christmas morning and brunch with K's family, we headed to the 'boro, center of hotness, to visit my folks. We had a good time with them, including checking out the new 'boro hotness, which consists of hanging a ton of lighted balls in trees, turning the whole neighborhood into something out of a sci-fi movie. Almost certainly not unique to Greensboro, but very cool. Enjoy.


The trip home was highlighted by a 2-hour delay at O'Hare caused by a diaper lodged in the plane's plumbing system. A device called the Super Sucker was summoned, and was partially effective. We made the flight to San Francisco with only half of the lavatories fully operational. My good friend S generously picked us up at the airport, and we returned home to our cats, our bed, and our sweet-ass new TV.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Buster Olney at ESPN.com, who is an excellent baseball writer, has published a column stating that he thinks Tony Gwynn ought to be elected to the Hall of Fame. Thanks for stepping out on a limb, Buster. As a Ripken fan, what do you think his chances are? Do you think he'll make it? I'm going to roll the dice and suggest that Roger Clemens will be elected first-ballot as well, if he ever retires.

Thirty pages of writing to do this week, on a paper that has been giving me fits. I think people who are not subject to the whims of institutes of higher learning enjoy Christmas more than people like me. My Christmas looks like this: overnight flight to NC, Day and a half with K's family, Day with my family, flight back to CA. That's not a holiday. That's a punishment. This will absolutely be the last time I move to CA to work on my Master's.

Every couple I know is now officially pregnant, or has pulled the goalie. For those who are anxious about such issues, the "Arranging your lamp" household has left its goalie in the game, and is counting on him to do what he is paid to do. Big Country and his wife make me happy. I've not been this excited about a pair of parents and the kid who gets to be raised by them.

Oh yeah, let me say this for the record: I do not think Borat is funny.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Way too much work to do to really write a good post. Enjoy this video in the meantime.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Quick update

Had a phone conversation with the aforementioned professor I would like to study with at a fine institution of higher learning that shall remain nameless so I can claim that it was wherever I end up. It went well, if not smashingly. I remain encouraged, and yet more prepared for a letdown.

No classes next week, thanks to the American Academy of Religion meeting in DC. That means more reading and a second date with the GRE. Go crazy folks. Go crazy.

Butch Davis will leave UNC for a better football program. This I know. Where will he go? Will UNC become Texas' AAA club, much like Kansas is for us in basketball?

With the first day of truly shitty weather in the Bay Area now upon us (mid-50's and a nice, blowing sneeze from God), it is now officially higher-proof whiskey season. My beer selections will be getting darker as well. I like rainy days. Adam Duritz lives in my neighborhood, you know, 'round here.

Friday, November 10, 2006

What a week.

When last we spoke, it was Monday, and I was being very quiet about my hopes for Tuesday. Well, they were all pretty much realized. I now look forward with a modicum of optimism and a whole lot of cynicism. None the less, seeing Macacawitz concede in VA, and having it specially set aside as the official end of the battle was beautiful.

Today, I emailed a man I've never known, in hopes that he has some interest in taking me on as a doctoral student. I'll be doing this a lot in the coming weeks. I'd like to go on record as stating that applying to doctoral programs in a field not covered by U.S. News & World Report, et. al (read: a field that won't put you in line for Bush's tax cut) is an experience that will keep you constantly regular. You have to pretty much shoot your qualifications off into the void, in hopes that someone will at least read them. Nonetheless, my advisor and other faculty here are being very helpful, and are rooting for me, which boosts confidence. Spontaneous offers of recommendation letters are the best affirmation a graduate school boy could get. Reminders that Duke is sooo close to home are not helpful.

Thesis research is progressing. Currently on the table is a collection of works by Octavio Paz. There are worse things to have to read for research. I'll get to them soon.

Bay Area professional sports franchises are joining the rest of the business in showing little regard for their fans, though it is in their interest to head for the South Bay if they want to jack up ticket prices. Silicon Valley folk will pay a premium for anything if you tell them it makes them special. At times like this, I am proud that UNC owns the Dean Dome, built it with private money, and is extremely unlikely to move the team to Burlington if Chapel Hill won't shell out for a new building that will generate no additional revenue.


Thanksgiving is around the corner; possibly my favorite holiday. Tons of food, highlighted by a smoked/grilled turkey, plenty of alcohol, a football game, and a righteous nap make for a fine way to spend a day. It's a great way to commemorate the false harmony between Europeans and Native Americans.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Dancing about Architecture

Keith Jarrett's The Carnegie Hall Concert is an amazing recording. One man, one piano, and he improvises for over an hour, before being called out for 5 encores by the crowd. It was his first US solo concert in a decade, due to a struggle with chronic fatigue syndrome. When Keith Jarrett improvises, it's not seemingly random notes strewn in a structureless void. He lays out beautiful music. This is a fantastic release.

In the spirit of Big Country, I have decided to list my 5 favorite Grateful Dead tunes. It's my blog. No rankings assigned.

Scarlet Begonias > Fire on The Mountain: This counts as one because the Dead, with only a couple of exceptions, always segued from the former to the latter after '77. Any of the versions in my collection brighten my day. 2/5/1978 is a barnburner.

Dark Star: Quintessential Grateful Dead, played hundreds of times over their career, different every time. Dark Star is to the Dead as IPA's are to beer; you might have to work up to it, but then it's the best thing in the world. Current favorite is 11/11/1973. Subject to change.

Ripple: Just a great song. It's become somewhat cliche over time, but it may be the best piece of songwriting in the Dead songbook. The version on "Reckoning" is nice; this song was really only played on the two tours that featured acoustic sets, so there's not a lot to choose from, but this one from Fall 1980, when great people were born, is really good.

Eyes of the World: I love the jazzy feel of this song and the lyrics that no one knows the meaning of but everyone understands, and I love where the Dead took it. The version from 3/29/1990 with Branford Marsalis is so good it's not worth writing about.

Stella Blue: Clearly Jerry loved to play this song. Sweet lyrics with an even sweeter tune, beautiful solo from Jerry. The version from the Grateful Dead Movie (10/17/1974) always seems to sneak up on me. Sometimes the room gets a little dusty.

Honorable mentions go to Morning Dew (my favorite song about the apocalypse) and Sugar Magnolia (the best song ever about an enabler... "Wonderful Tonight" is dreck). Sugar Magnolia is the only song on this list sung by Bob Weir. Go figure...

We're gonna re-elect the Kindergarten Cop to the governorship of the most populous state in the union tomorrow. Once the results go final, look for Phil Angelides, the Invisible Democrat, on a cockpunch list near you.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I wrote a research paper on megachurches last year, and Ted Haggard was one of the primary subjects. Harpers ran an article a couple of years ago about his rising influence among evangelicals, suggesting that he had surpassed James Dobson, Brother Pat, and Jerry Falwell. He's a ridiculously effective pastor, and talked on the phone with the President or his advisors on a weekly basis. I'd put him on the cockpunch list, but really, who could take the irony? Oops.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

We're in a rain delay for game 4 of the World Series, and Fox is showing an episode of "The War at Home," which is like saying, "sorry, we're all out of chocolate cake, but here's some dog poo on a plate." This gives me an opportunity to mention two things in the world of sports that I would like to do away with.
  1. Chris Berman. His contribution to society rivals that of Paris Hilton. Seriously, next time you hear him, ask yourself if you would hire that guy for your network based on what he brings to the table today. The answer is no; Berman works for ESPN because he has always worked for ESPN, and that's it. His nicknames and his song references are not funny, and he lends no insight to any sport. His catchphrases are deployed with all the spontanaety of the voice mail operator that lives in my cell phone. Be gone.
  2. The 3/4 time footage in NFL films. Apparently, my grandmother can run like Jim Brown and the ball used to be filled with helium. Really, it's the speed of the game that makes it so impressive. Why take that away?
This week is reading week. I've been... reading. Thesis reasearch is happening, as is a little reading for fun. K and I are going with a friend to see Gomez (band) tonight in San Francisco, at the Warfield. Should be good. Tomorrow I will cook ribs for the first time and draft my first fantasy team. It's clearly a big day.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's midterm time, kids. That means papers, papers, and more papers. A more substantial update comes after Friday, when the wonderful thing we call reading week begins. For now, I give you this:

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Start spreading the news...

It's Liza Manelli time in NYC. I just got back from Yosemite (another post on another day) and checked ESPN.com. Not only did the Yankees lose, thereby making their season a complete failure in the eyes of their heartless, bloodthirsy fan base, but they are apparently thinking about firing Joe Torre in favor of...


wait for it...



no...



why?...



Lou Pinella. This would make my year. God bless baseball.
(Late Edit: It is not only because I think Mike Lupica breathes the rarified air of sports hackdom normally only accessed by Chris Berman and Skip Bayless that I post this link, but because it is written from a purportedly reasonable viewpoint.)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I am now a Detroit Tigers fan. Every year, there are two sporting events I try hard not to care too much about. The first would be the basketball matchups between Carolina and Duke. No matter how rational, calm, and collected I pretend to be, I will be yelling obscenities at my TV within 2 minutes of tipoff. The other is the Yankees in the playoffs. I don't just hate the Yankees in some innoccuous "oh, it's just sports" sort of way. I actually hate the entire organization, from top to bottom. Though I am on record as a person who respects Derek Jeter, I have yet to wish a good thing upon him. I dream of a baseball world in which the Yankees do not exist, or at least one in which they are mediocre for 9 straight years, only to have more steroid accusations pointed at them than any other team. Every modicum of success that the Yankees enjoy is an affront to the idea of competitive sports.

Just booked a campsite at Yosemite for next weekend- they'll even let us build campfires. That will certainly be a nice getaway from the world of papers, people who are way too anxious about papers, and my thesis research. Also, apparently a strange thing is happening up there. The leaves are said to change colors, and the air becomes crisp, and cooler than it has been for the last few months. I think they call it "autumn." I'll not complain about Bay Area weather in its sunny, temperant constancy, but I will be happy to experience fall.

The new version of iTunes supports gapless playback. As a fan of noodly hippy music, this makes the segues in the long jams I love so much seamless again. Thank you, Steve Jobs.

If you get an email from my brother, do not open it. It may be pterodactyl porn.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Friday, September 29, 2006

Though I will get my act together and send an actual present, this link is in honor of a man starting his fourth decade on earth.